Why Are Churches Struggling To Minister To Young Adults?
Over the past several years, I’ve both worked at a great church that continues to reach the next generation passionately and more recently my wife and I launched a college ministry on a local campus. My perspective is one of a hopeful learner. Through the youngadultstoday podcast, we have interviewed nearly 100 individuals on this topic because my passion point and life’s work is to see this generation know and see the goodness of God in the land of the living. My heart is to see God’s church thrive! Whether you’re a senior leader, a pastor, a campus minister, or someone burdened for the next generation - I’m writing this in hopes to shine a light on the topic that matters deeply to God’s heart, mine, and yours… the faith of the next generation!
For at least the past decade, I’ve heard faith leaders asking the question “why are young adults leaving the church?” Only more recently have I flipped the script and started wondering “why would they want to come or even stay?” It’s become the acceptable norm for churches in America to function absent of the demographic of college students and twenty-somethings.
When a generation is missing within the church, we are missing all of what that generation has to offer. That generation is also missing out on all that God has to offer through the church.
Young people without the church are headed towards certain death. This generation is lonelier than ever, more anxious than ever, depressed, and even suicidal. The church without the young is also headed towards certain death. Churches are empty, passionless, not making a difference, and missing the mark on God’s design. We need each other!
Could you imagine a church that is vibrant and intergenerational? Filled with hope and graced with wisdom. I see a handful of areas we the church are missing the mark and a handful of ways we can make shifts to grow and truly minister to serve the needs of those in this generation:
The expectation from leaders of church goers is passive observation rather than active participation.
What I mean by this is that many churches are using a priest-laity model. The congregation comes and attends services, listens to sermons, and watches. Following Jesus was never meant to be a spectator sport! When you are passionately leading teams, classes, organizations, and families throughout the week Monday- Saturday and on Sunday you go to church and casually observe when you’ve been designed to energetically contribute it can feel like you’re insignificant. Only a few paid staff are allowed to do the ministry.
Grant Skeldon put it in an interesting way: “Mentoring says “come and meet with me”. Discipleship says “come and follow me”. However most churches are saying “come and listen to me”.”
Imagine for a minute that you just moved to town, started a new job, you know basically nobody. You need some hope so you Google search “churches near me.” On Sunday morning, you get up and go to the local church, worship, hear a message and leave. Without meeting anybody, getting connected, or becoming involved. Just come and go, no reason to stay.
During 2020 when many churches met only virtually - something was magnified. You can worship at home. You can listen to good Bible preaching online. There’s something incomparable about participating in the community that is the body of Christ that there is no substitute for. We were not made to live lives of isolation. Single people are lonelier than ever before, and this is a major opportunity for the church to be the church and minister to this need.
It’s been said that people are more likely to get involved when they have a job and a friend. A role and a relationship. Those both go deeper than simply attending. That’s really Paul’s aim instructing us in Ephesians 4:11-12 as church leaders to equip the saints to do the work of the ministry. You’re doing too much of the work and part of the reason the next generation isn’t interested is they can’t do any of the work. See a solution? Empower! Equip! Engage!
My question would be how can people actively participate and get involved in the vision and lifeblood of your church?
Some starting points might be:
Serving Your City
Fun Events
Meeting Needs
Small Groups
Volunteering
2. The approach is programs instead of personal.
Programs are great opportunities. There’s actually nothing inherently wrong with programs. They have their place. They are valuable. No question. My question is: do the people have their place? It’s the people who should be our focus. Ministry is very much a people profession.
For some churches a full-on young adult ministry program is going to be the best stewardship that makes the most sense as a next step. In many churches, though, the approach is going to be more relational, organic, and grass roots in nature. Contextualized ministry is so important because you as a leader are where you are and the Holy Spirit is with you to guide you!
Think about one example with me for a minute: How often are we “announcing activities” at church? And how often are we “sharing stories”? The reason I ask this is because it can bring an awareness to something, we’ve been placing an emphasis on without even realizing it. Announcements are about programs. Stories are about people. Unless you’re intentional, it’s easy to spend more platform time promoting events through announcements than sharing stories of life change.
I believe Pastor Craig Groeschel is absolutely spot on when he says, “To reach people nobody else is reaching, we’re going to do things nobody else is doing.” Think about it, it’s only logical that if we keep doing what we’re doing we can expect the same results we’ve seen before in the past! Might I suggest that you have at bare minimum an equal focus on people as you do programs?!
I believe something we can all do is start where we are. Four things I think many pastors can do to approach ministry more relationally is:
Pray for young adults to be drawn to the Father.
Look for a champion of the cause and invest in them.
Invite a group of college students to lunch and ask them what their needs are and what they are desiring in a community.
Form a small group if that’s the best next step.
Who are a few young adults you know by name? If you don’t know them yet, who are a few you can get to know? No matter the size of your city, church, or community; 18-30 year old’s live in your area.
3. The focus is inward versus outward.
The greatest example I can think of is Jesus as a rabbi went out and asked His disciples to follow Him. That was such a role reversal that was counter-cultural then and it still is now. Jesus went out. Outside the temple. Outside of the normal status quo. He came to seek and to save the lost.
All too often, as churches and leaders, we wait for young adults to make the first move. We expect them to come to us. What if instead we took a bold step of obedience and lived out the great commission like Jesus says? Truly seeking and saving the lost. With the approach of going to them. Meeting people at their table, on their turf, and in their territory. My thought process has always been that if they aren’t coming to us, then nothing is stopping us from going to them!
Dallas Willard said: “It’s called the Great Commission, but when you look at it closely, you might want to call it the Great Omission, because what Jesus said to do here is rarely done.” Evangelism and sharing the gospel is at the core of an external focus. The Great Commission is our mission and the methods of sharing our faith happen most successfully when we move beyond ourselves. When we move from an internal, inward focus to an upward, external, and outward focus. Jesus did not promise this would be easy or comfortable. Yet this is the mission.
How can you as a leader get outside of your comfort zone this week? Is it walking across the campus? Across the room? Across the street?
4. The emphasis is on size over significance.
Many churches and pastors have a mindset of measuring success through quantitative analysis metrics. For example, they measure using the ABC’s: attendance, budgets, and cars in the parking lot. Overall the emphasis is on size and numbers. Those things should be measured, and they should matter. So should qualitative analysis metrics. These things can be harder to track or measure. Things like life change, salvation, scripture memorization, steps of faith, baptism, serving on teams, group involvement, etc.
I’m not one to write about one or the other most of the time it can be both/and. I’m not saying we should minimize quantitative analysis. I am saying we should emphasize qualitative analysis. At least raise the level to equal emphasis of importance.
Pastor Rick Warren said, “You measure a church’s strength not by its seating capacity but by its sending capacity.” For many leaders it’s an adjustment even to consider any other metrics besides measuring them numerically. Naturally, some things we overemphasize … other things can just as easily be overlooked. What do you need to start measuring that you haven’t been in the past? What do you need to stop measuring has been controlling your thought life in ministry?
The difference I find here is filling a room or building the kingdom. The next generation is more than just numbers in seats - they are names in the kingdom! They have stories. They have passions. They have hurts that God can heal. There is hope for them! They long to be a part of a vision grander than themselves or you.
Is there any area of your heart or thought patterns that have equated attendance, audience size, applause, approval or affirmation as metrics for success? Does your definition of success align with God’s?
5. The experience is more judgmental than accepting.
There are a variety of reasons why those who are among the unchurched don’t attend church or desire to. Some never have. Many once did and had a bad experience. Others used to and have lost touch with their faith. And still others might be open to if they were to be invited.
Zeroing in on those who once were a part of a community of faith and no longer actively participate, many have had an unfortunate personal experience which they would bring up as to why.
Rejection is more bitter than acceptance is sweet. This is why so many people not only gravitate towards acceptance, but completely and utterly fear rejection. Psychologists often call this the need to be seen in a positive light.
People are looking and longing for a place to belong! They experience enough hell on earth all week long. We have an opportunity to give them heaven! Instead of being judgmental, we can be known for what Christians are for, not what they are against! This is a massive opportunity for us as the church.
Two separate Barna Group studies reveal fascinating insight:
Study 1: shows the 66% of young adults who grew up attending church are leaving the church by the time they are 20.
Study 2: shows that ⅔ of young adults (also 66%) do not know a caring adult who believes in them.
Both are a tragedy. What if those two had something to do with each other?
Why have people left the church? Have first time visitors returned and become assimilated into the community? What would make people stay?
6. Communities are closed rather than open.
I pastored a young adult ministry at the same local church for six years. During that time, one of the things I noticed about relational dynamics is that people who started attending around the same time usually became good friends, clicked, and rallied together. The same thing happens in workplaces, on college campuses and in churches.
One of the toughest things to do is to try to open a door that’s shut.
The “Buckle Challenge” was a thing a few years back where the goal was to visit a mall, walk into the Buckle retail store, try to walk all the way to the back of the store, touch the wall, and leave the store without getting greeted. It was near impossible. I may or may not know this from personal experience. Needless to say, Buckle did an amazing job training their team members to notice guests, go out of their way to greet them.
If the Buckle can go to such great lengths to focus on spectacular guest experience, when are we as the church going to rise up? A generation that’s been falling through the cracks must fall no longer. Not on our watch!
When young adults visit your church, does anyone notice them? Are they welcomed? Do they get invited out to lunch? Are they introduced to others in the community? Will they be inclined to return?
I’ve also written a follow-up piece on “What Church Leaders Can Do To Engage Millennials and Gen Z” because I believe there are solutions. May we approach every challenge as an opportunity!