5 Things To Look For in a Dating Relationship
Have you ever asked the question: “What Does a Healthy Christian Relationship Look Like?” That’s what this article is all about. There’s five things to look for in that other potential partner before you hold hands or commit to dating:
1. Christ at the Center
This is make it or break it when it comes to dating: either thumbs up or thumbs down. If they aren’t following Jesus, it’s an automatic red flag. Don’t settle for something less than God’s best because you’re lonely!
2. Compass for direction in life
The world around us is a dark place – the word of God brings light and life. The author of Psalm 119 describes it being a lamp to his feet and a light to his path, and the same is for us – like a pointer finger, God’s word and Godly community are like a compass and a map. We can see if we are one inch off on the map, or even just a couple degrees off on a compass now and continue moving forward – we will arrive in entirely different destinations.
3. Communication that is healthy and effective
There’s no place in a healthy relationship for immaturity like games and ghosting. Being honest and up front about your feelings and intentions sets everyone up for success. Even if you face rejection in the process – you’re not wasting your time, and you’re not wasting their time. Healthy communication involves both encoding and decoding. This means saying what you mean as well as actively listening to the other person in the process for complete understanding! Think about it, when you hear about relationships that haven’t worked out, one of the primary factors can be communication.
4. Commitment to one another
It doesn’t take very long spending time with someone to see if they are committed to Christ and committed to you and ultimately desiring the relationship to move forward. If you’re dating with the intention of marriage and one day plan on wearing a wedding ring – you’re looking early on for indicators of commitment. Questions to ask can be: are they talking to or texting with others at the same time?
I just have to tell a powerful personal story from my wife Micah and I’s relationship. Something she did all while we were dating was pray, read the Bible, and journal what God was teaching her and speaking to her. On our wedding night, she presented that journal to me with her heart written on the pages. She wrote a book called Worth The Wait: Because I’m Made For You as a guided 52 week journal you can get to begin praying for and journaling to your future spouse as well!
5. Chemistry has its place, it’s just not first place
A lot of times the place we tend to start is outward attraction and beauty. You might be attracted to someone externally who isn’t following Christ, and if you are pursuing Jesus, remember that inward beauty continues to grow even when outward beauty fades. For a relationship to last – its foundation needs to be built on more than feelings. Love is a choice!
We unpack this on the FYI podcast in depth to answer the question “What Does a Healthy Christian Relationship Look Like?” Be sure to subscribe and tune into this conversation!
As a young adult, we believe that you are ALIVE to THRIVE! If you have a question about life, faith, adulting, or relationships you can comment below or submit it here where we answer one question each week on the FYI PODCAST.